remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize