i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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