You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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