That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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