i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
