I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize