it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
