Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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