She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize