I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning