singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam