i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what day is it and did you see me today?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
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there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
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We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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