Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
