eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
