8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
