hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She's the barista slut.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
