Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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