Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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