The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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