the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
