Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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