dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
