How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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