I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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