Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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