trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All I want is dick and wine.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
