I wannas sexs uuuuu
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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