I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
