some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
