My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
