matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize