i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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