it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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