Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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