we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
