seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He? As in you personified your dick?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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