I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
