there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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