Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
