ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
