He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
