What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
