Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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