but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
