I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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