So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
