Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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