the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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