Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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