i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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