dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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