All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
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How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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