I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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