Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
