You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
