If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
