Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
