the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
