How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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